July § 2009 § Chris Sutcliff

On a list of people that you wouldn’t want to annoy I reckon The Pope ranks pretty highly. Glaswegian artist Anthony Schrag and the Gallery of Modern Art in Glasgow have managed to do just that today with their ‘Made in God’s Image’ exhibition. Actually, with just one piece in the exhibition which was a copy of the Holy Bible and a set of pens, inviting the attendees to write whatever they wanted over the text. The attendees did exactly what they were told. They wrote whatever they wanted. I’ll come back to the staggering hilarity of all this in a minute.

I have used bible pages in my art work for over 15 years now (including the canvas I am working on at this very moment), and when I say ‘used’ I mean I ripped the hell out of it (pardon the pun) and threw paint all over it and occasionally burned it. Not one of these actions was a comment on Religion, because I’m not religious and because I respect the right of everyone to have their own beliefs. Nor am I a hater of books. I disembowel this holy tome only because it has interesting pages. The layout of a bible is very pleasing to the eye, two main columns with varying font sizes, an abundance of upper and lower cases, numbers everywhere and italicised footnotes – INTERESTING. Give it a Jackson Pollock overcoat and you absolutely can’t fail. That said, both myself and Mr. Schrag are VERY aware of how other people will comprehend our provocations. So, the free added-reaction in all this comes when you tell the AUDIENCE that the pages are from a Bible. Light the taper and stand well back. Judging by the open mouths of far less holy sorts, let’s just say that if Pope Benedict XVI ever accidentally strays onto my website he’s gonna throw a hissy fit that makes Sodom and Gomorrah look like a slap on the wrist and I’ll be on the metaphysical naughty step for eternity. But let’s get back to the story…..

Anthony Schrag, in typical artist depth of vision, wanted gays and transsexuals who felt left out of religion to ‘write their way back in’ to the holy text. Metropolitan Community Church minister Jane Clarke said ‘I had hoped people would show respect for the bible. I am saddened some have chosen to write offensive messages’. And finally, and please O Lord don’t let us miss the punch-line in this one, the “adviser” to the Pope said ‘It is disgusting and offensive. They would not think of doing this to the Koran’. Clearly the Vatican Press Official was on holiday.

At times like this I truly wish I’d been a stand up comedian. Honestly, where do you start? Is this an attack on religion? On freedom of speech? On art? Is this the church ushering in censorship? Are all Glaswegians Devil-worshippers? Or is this the purest form of literary criticism ever seen, written by the masses – for the masses?

Well, because I really don’t like arguments I’ll leave it to you to decide and to make up all the jokes you like. I will say this though, even by dipping my toe slightly in the Christian / Catholic font water – it’s just a book. The book is the vehicle for the message, not the message itself. Or, to put it into a truly modern context, if I rip up the instruction manual to your DVD player, does the machine still work? Here’s a little quote from a little known character in said-book called Jesus of Nazareth: – ‘Cleave a piece of wood, I am there; lift up the stone and you will find me there’. Apologies for being a heathen but isn’t this a guy talking about the holy glory being all pervasive, not just in the actual pages of his autobiography? Why would God give us all free will and then create the Church to tell us what we can and can’t do with it? I thought the Church was the route to God, not It’s Police force. And can I also just say that comparing all of this to a lack of artistic Koran modification is a little bit like saying ‘My book is better than your book’, or even worse – ‘My hysterical reaction is far less hysterical than your hysterical reaction WOULD have been’. Which reminds me of being five years old at school when the other kids would say that their Dad would beat up your Dad because you’d won at marbles. I honestly hoped that a Religious spokesperson whose comments have a global reach would be more grown up than that, I guess I was setting my expectations a bit too high.

Back on a personal level, and also because I am a one for all and all for one sort of guy, if I ever find out that the pages of the Koran are as interestingly laid out as the Bible’s then I’ll rip the hell out of that too and paint it pretty colours. And ‘Guns & Ammo’ and ‘Gardeners Weekly’ and ‘Bored Housewives’. If the ritualistic followers of those titles want to come round to my house to complain then I’m possibly gonna have the most amazing party of my entire life. In the meantime, let’s not all lose our minds, faith or manners just because someone did the artistic equivalent of sellotaping a “Kick Me” sign to the back of God’s tunic. Amen.